I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Randomize
