Your tits are I can't wait for
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
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