her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
