he wants to bone in the snuggie
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Randomize
