Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
