There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
