youre lurking in front of me
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
