No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
my shit smells like andre
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
