Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
