I showed him my bush... on skype.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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