Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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