You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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