If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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