singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
Randomize
