Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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