she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
