It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
