The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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