As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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