Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
as a side note pls kill me
Randomize
