well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
