he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
