so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
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