You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize