I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
