If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
Randomize
