do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
