whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
