We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
whose ass print is on the piano?
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
