Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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