I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
