whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
