I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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