My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Randomize
