i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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