He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
