I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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