I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
