Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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