I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
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