Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Randomize
