So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I will pee on everything he values.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
