need another drink. this is the easiest way
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
