Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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