didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Randomize
