every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Ketchup is God's man juice
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
