So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
