4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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