Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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