This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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