my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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