i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
