i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Randomize
