took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize