Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
false alarm. still invincible.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Come back. Shots need mouths.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
