I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
