apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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