We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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